He Hears Me

I went back to school this year, 18 years after I left to have a family with my husband. It has been one of the most wonderful experiences I have had in a long time. I felt as though before this, I was drifting, just coasting along in the gospel. Not really working hard on anything, just going through the motions. Everything changed when I went back to school, and started really studying my scriptures, not just reading them. Things changed when I started getting on my knees to pray, and poured out my heart to the Lord, instead of the rote prayers I had said sporadically. Things changed. I have changed.

The reading this week was Mosiah 27-Alma 7. These are some of my favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon. I can understand Alma the younger, in a way. I remember being a youth, and making choices that would purposely lead away from the gospel. Choices that would purposefully drive away the spirit. Thankfully it didn't take an angel to knock me on my butt and make me repent. Instead, it was a desire to feel happy again. To feel the love of my Heavenly Father, and know I was truly forgiven. As I watched a Mormon Message on YouTube that was part of my lesson, I was reminded of the times I had repented and felt my Father's forgiveness, and His love for me.

This week's assignments have had us learning and reading about the Priesthood, The Family Proclamation to the World, and repentance. Are we like Alma? Not satisfied in just leaving the church of the Lord, but needing instead to drag others with us as we backbite, and complain, and even slander our leaders, "going about to destroy the church of God"? Are we like the sons of Mosiah, going along with the complainers and joining in their mockery of church doctrine? I should ask, are we like the "old" versions of Alma and Mosiah's sons? Or are we like who they become? Are we humbled, and willing to submit to the Lord and ask forgiveness? Are we willing to  "become new creatures" and have our souls "redeemed from the gall of bitterness and bonds of iniquity"?

I think that what touches my heart the most, is knowing that here were young men who were doing everything they could do to bring down the church, and they were still forgiven. They were still able to repent, and fix their mistakes. They were able to admit to others what they had done, and even went among the people, and became "instruments in the hands of  God in bringing many to the knowledge of the truth, yeah, the knowledge of their Redeemer." It wasn't too late for them. And if it wasn't too late for them, it's never too late for any of us.